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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Midwifery Today Conference, Eugene, OR


I am so excited to be getting ready for the conference this week. I wrote out my itinerary, went to the store to buy some easily portable, healthy snacks, washed the laundry, prepped the husband and kids about what will need to be done while I am gone for the next 4 days and I am ready to go have a FUN! I am really looking forward to the story telling and potlatch and dancing after the workshops! I am in such need for that kind of atmosphere, getting back in touch with the sacred feminine and being in a very womanly space. I miss it so much! I am really anticipating the classes and the knowledge and hope I take good enough notes so I can remember everything I learn. I wish I was staying down there the whole time so I didn't have to drive an hour after a long day, 4 days in a row, but it is better for me to come home. Besides, my kitty and birdie and doggies will miss me more than the kids! LOL


School at LBCC started this week for spring term. I ended up taking bio 101 and psych 203 at the Campus, along with a cardio/core exercise class. Math is at home on the net and Midwifery starts in a week. I sure hope I can manage all of this. The psych class is pretty interesting so far. The professor is one that Tim had before and his wife is a farmer and has a farm stay. The material is good, I think it will hold my interest enough and be a good review from some of the stuff I already know and then move on to stuff I hadn't thought about on this level. I am considering completing the pysch course and maybe taking a minor in pysch to open more possibilities of different positions that may be available if things actually pick up for the economy around here, which I have more doubt about than I would like to admit. I really think I m doing the right thing with getting into midwifery and learning herbal and natural medicine for women and children. I think it is one sure way to ensure a place in the community and help people, regardless of what is going on in politics and economies. Midwives did their part to support their families for many many years before the medical industry took over everything, I am sure we are heading back to that era soon.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Here it comes....

When I started considering moving toward midwifery, I had a feeling it was going to be like considering to have another baby. We talked about it, made some plans, discussed what we needed to do. I wondered if I was ready for this commitment, all the work invovled, the responsibility, the learning, what am I getting myself into. Than the searching, looking trying, preparing, creating, studying on if I wnt to even go through wiht it. Then the reality hits, it is confirmed, I am spending money on books, tuition, confrences, interviewing with other Midwives, making business cards, creating a website, moving forward. I feel like I am hitting the 2nd trimester right now, about to pass through another landmark this week. This week is the confrence and I start my studies at Ancient Art Midwifery Institute. I know something BIG is waiting for me to find it and break through and I will see the world in a whole new light. My intuition that has lead me this far is presenting more and more reasons to trust my self in this journey and go with it. The more people I meet, the more books I find, the more I run into people who are beggin for this paradigm shift, people taking back their HUMAN RIGHTS in so many ways, all over the world in all kinds of cultures. We are coming HOME to the Mother to the Earth, we are reclaiming ourselves and our rights to LIVE and breathe and birth and eat and just live. I am so excited to be gripping this journey, growing, changing, evolving yet again into knowing myself for who *I* am. Fully exploring my purpose, my passion and my presence.

It is peaceful to trust that this is going to work out for the best because it HAS TO. I can't wait to be with my sisters and share this Love, this energy of Mother, and watch it grow and be passed on and nurtured.

Friday, March 11, 2011

My Prayer

Purpose:___Women who are ready to do the work involved in using birth to heal themselves and transform into the mother they long to be will seek me out and utilize my expierences and tools to achieve their goals. These ladies will not question my worth, they will be able to provide an exchange for services that will meet my needs and allow me to continue offering my support to women who need me to give them the sacred space to do their birth work and expereince Birth Heaven

Recognition God is within me as Spirit is within all things. We are all interconnected bringing each other into harmony and attracting each other to each other at the best possible moment. Spirit will let me know when to do what needs to be done, when to act, when to sit back, when to question and when to let go. Spirit will enable me to connect with other women’s spirit in order to accomplish their Heaven on their terms on their path, enhancing my own path as we walk together on a journey to transformation.

Unification: Through the Universe, all things are interconnected, th energy I hold within me is the same energy held and utilized by women of the past to achieve great things, to honor and love each other in sisterhood and motherhood. I am a tool to carry the Energy of Birth Heaven to others who seek it an are ready to accept it and move through it in order to share and bring it to the next generation of Light workers.

3.Realization: I let go of the fear that I will not be nurtured or cared for in the process of my exchange of services for the ability to continue nurturing and supporting my family alongside the community of women who seek my services. I will not carry the burden of holdin the importance of financial needs first and trust that I will get exactly what I need in abundance to allow for my family to thrive comfortably and happily which enables me to give my all to the women who utilize my services. The time I will devote to my clients to care for their needs will be refreshed with the fulfillment of my needs and we will balance each other out.

4.Thanksgiving: I give thanks to the Universe for putting this opportunity in front of me, for providing me with the right situations to make this happen and for making sure that the lessons and responsibilities are given equal energy to the energy I put forth. I Thank the people who have crossed my path on the beginning of my journey that encourage and support me to keep this faith alive, to trust in birth, to trust in sisterhood, to trust in the unity of the divine feminine that drives me to move forward.

5.Release: So MOTE IT BE!! My words are carried not just through the electricity of this interaction but through all of the universe, on their way to being fulfilled!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Birth Heaven Now!

I am so excited to be participating in this class with Stephanie Dawn. I received an email about how to sign up and instantly thought, "This is totally something I should be doing!" Stephanie has been warm and welcoming and has helped me considerably to be able to attend, despite my financial issues.

IN this class we are exploring and defining the old paradigm of birth as :
The Old Paradigm:

1. Does not honor women
2. Does not trust birth
3. Does not respect a woman’s body
4. Does not empower women to do right by themselves
5. Causes unnecessary fear around pregnancy and birth
6. Causes unnecessary power struggles with women
7. Unenlightened Birth Caregivers/”Medical Authority” who assume decision making on behalf of a woman.
8. Does not embody LIGHT and LOVE and PEACE and POWER WITH
9. Instead embodies FEAR, energizes POWER OVER, BODILY AND SPIRITUAL AND EMOTIONAL DISRESPECT and DISEMPOWERMENT


and the new paradigm:

1. Honors women
2. Trusts birth
3. Respects a woman’s body
4. Empowers women to listen to themselves; all aspects (emotional, spiritual, sensual, physical)
5. Birth caregivers and Birth Team energize and exemplify POWER WITH, which EMPOWERS, RESPECTS AND HONORS women ~ keeps playing field level.
6. Keeps choice and informed decision making with the woman
7. Enlightened and AWARE birth caregivers
8. Supports women to birth in LOVE, LIGHT, PEACE

This speaks to me in ways that I can not verbalize as well as Stephanie does. It was mentioned by one of the class participants that the new moms in our culture don't even realize that these 2 different worlds exist and that we need to be able to explain to them what they are up against and how they can achieve more than they ever imagined through birth. I worry about this all the time. How can I help bring awareness to someone who has not yet experienced the Hell or Heaven of birth. It is like leading the blind to figure out what color means. I fear that women may not take it seriously, may not understand the damage to their psyche, their soul that being disempowered can lead to. I want to protect them, to guide them and help them in anyway I can, yet I feel as though there is no way to approach this to ladies who have been so oppressed and abused in the past that they see no problem with the old paradigm.

Stephanie uses an image in her workbook of a sketch of a woman laid on her back on a flat hard surface, tubes attached to her with IVs, blood pressure cuff, heart monitor fetal monitor, several hands around bottom half of her body holding instruments like scissors, clamps, scalpels, vacuum extractor, forceps and she seems ot be unconscious, prone, empty, given up, dead to the world.... It is obscene to me. When I think of the recent images I have found in books and videos of exctatic births, smiling women full of life and love and freedom to express them self through birth, to transform their souls in the process of birthing, in becoming a mother through determination and sweat and tears of joy, overcoming their fears, moving through their previous ideas of what it should be, ignoring the lies that have been ingrained into our brains for so long, looking at the image of this victimized woman incites horror.

To think that women willingly put their entire lives in the hands of doctors everyday that result in trauma that is unnecessary is enough to debilitate me with sadness. But I am choosing to rise above this sadness and turn it into passion to teach, to inform, to love and to protect the sancity of Womanhood and seek the light in this darkness.

I will do my best to educate and trust that the Universe will bring me families that are ready for this path, people will seek me out because they are ready to experience something other than what they have been lead to believe as the only truth there can be. I am special in my own way and have much to offer to our community. I know that I can make a difference and just by me being present and focused I am opening up choices and leading people down a path towards something bigger and better than they ever dreamed possible.

After my last birth, 7 years ago, I still process and reprocess that experience and learn from it all the time. As I study more and understand more, I see ways in which I can still utilize that strength to grow and become the woman I am meant to be, the mother I am and will continue to be and I will mother more than my own children.

I am so filled with excitement as I make this journey. I read a quote today that said if the ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. I am knee deep and ready to tread water to get to this ship. I am meeting it half way as it makes its way to me!