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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

It is OK to have orgasms when you are birthing

Another Facebook irritation coming your way.

Frankly, I am about sick of, no, I AM SICK OF women shaming women for birthing with pleasure. When you have a baby and you experience Hell on Earth, everyone is all, " OHHH hunny I am so sorry, Oh I know, I hooked up to the epidural within 10 minutes of getting admitted at 2 CM," like it is all sisterhood. But as SOON as you say you had a fun and exciting, even ORGASMIC birth, it is like you are the red headed step child of birthing and NO ONE wants to talk to you about it. They make you feel all weird about it, act like you are lying, tell you it is gross and inappropriate and get their panties in a bunch about the idea one would even want to have orgasms during birthing. So this natural parenting Facebook page posts this blog post yesterday and the whole waterfall of comments explodes with the same kind of mass shame attack of how in the world and "that was the last thing on my mind" comments. Funny, when my vagina is in pain, I think the first thing on my mind is going to be how can I make it feel better and when does it feel the best? OH YA!!! During orgasms!!! Wow!! Rocket Science!!! So here it goes, me trying to be diplomatic, which as you can see, takes a lot when I am irritated. So after you read the post in the link above that tells you laughter is the one thing to learn how to do to get orgasms during contractions, here is a little advice from me too... because I have had an orgasmic birth, before I even knew it was something that could happen. Ya, we were as surprised as you are...

"I find it so hard to believe that women who were empowered enough to birth their babies naturally, believing in the power and ability of their own bodies, would find it so weird or gross that women can achieve joy and pleasure through orgasmic feelings while getting their babies down and out. It is just as sad as hearing a woman say she is going to "try for a natural birth." Your body is meant to bring your baby out and it is also meant to feel pleasure. Have you never watched a cat purr as she is laboring to give birth to her kittens? When you enjoy sex or masturbation during your pregnancy, is it not the most amazing feeling to feel your huge uterus pulsate with pleasure? THAT is the key to having orgasmic birthing experiences, learning to enjoy your big uterus contract and pulsate during love making or orgasms by yourself. And then when the time comes for labor, your contractions build into a crescendo of orgasms, joy and pleasure at your contracting uterus, the intimacy of your baby coming through you. This is NOT SEXUAL. It is physiological, it is psychological, it is birth. If our bodies weren't meant to feel good, we wouldn't have all the amazing hormones that come with an undisturbed and fearless birth. It is OUR CULTURE that makes us feel as though we are meant to feel excruciating pain and it has been that way since the first telling of Adam and Eve. It is ingrained into your psyche that you are meant to break at the excruciating birthing experience, but the truth is, you are meant for more than that. Sure, there are painful experiences, sure there are scary ones, sure there are emergencies, but there are also orgasmic, wonderful, pleasurable births and NO WOMAN should be made to feel ashamed for experiencing those any more than a woman who had to have a surgical birth should feel ashamed things didn't go right for her and her baby's dance of birth. It is not weird or gross or inappropriate any more than using drugs to ease your agony for not knowing the secrets to pleasure and pain-free birth is. "

Feel free to quote me.....

Ladies, you have the right. And, guess what else? You have the right to tell your story of your awesome birth. And you have the right not to be ridiculed for feeling GOOD during birth and if more of OUR GOOD STORIES were shared, we would have more good stories to share because it is all about expectations and if you expect pain, every single twinge of sensation you feel will be processed as pain and if you expect to feel pleasure, your mind will process your sensations as pleasure.

WATCH THIS!!! It shows everything and it is amazing!!!

And here is the famous Orgasmic Birth footage that has been going through the web with an interview with the Mom who starred in the Orgasmic Birth Documentary. 


It was videos like these that helped me prepare for my pleasurable, present, active labor and deliver my baby so swiftly and joyously. 

Ina May Gaskin has been saying it for years and years and her and the Farm Birth Center in TN have a way lower cesarean rate than any other birth center or hospital in the USA. 

People. It is OK to have orgasms during birth. And it is OK to talk about it. It is NOT OK to be shamed for it. So.. you know the rule, if you don't have something nice to say.... shut up. 


1 comment:

  1. Taryn made a point to not speak to anybody about her pregnancy, or pregnancy in general before Bracken was born...... Because ,like you say women want war stories....... And they want to tell their horrible war stories.... and nobody but nobody would enjoy such a thing.....so she ...we....decided to let it be her experience, and in fact there was just one person who got a comment in (the same person who always has to do that, her evil stepmother)...and during birth (in our living room).... that was the one wall she came up against. Now talkin to you would have been a good thing.

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