The most amazing thing I have learned about birth so far is that regardless of the planning, the knowledge you obtain, the plans you make the visualizations you rehearse, when you are in the moment in birthing, surrendering to the forces in your body takes work. If the mother fights the surrendering, she will suffer more, become irrational, and experience the birth in ways she was not expecting. This goes for the period right before labor as well, the days in which she tries to get things going, induces medically or “naturally” with herbs or procedures. Surrendering is probably the most important skill to practice, meditation, breathing, letting go. Surrendering isn’t just the responsibility of the mother to learn though, it is important for the whole team of people, should she chose to have one, to be able to surrender with her, leave things alone, let her be primal and instinctual, allow her room to move and vocalize and not get uncomfortable if the sounds she makes are scary or unexpected. The midwife needs to surrender to the time the mother and baby need to make the dance of emergence happen, the family needs to surrender to the idea that their requested presence is all they need to provide and they cannot make the mother’s work easier any other way, the father has to surrender to the power moving through his partner’s body to bring forth this baby and let go of needing to fix anything and just be with her.
|For a wonderful pregnancy meditation click here.|
Surrendering does not mean you cannot be present or make decisions should you need to, part of surrendering is listening to your body and acting on the messages you receive, without expectation of what you think you will hear or what will happen. This goes again for the witnesses, listening, acting on the requests of the mother, understanding the messages that are not verbal, like when to leave her alone and when to support her, when she is scared or when something does require assistance. But if you are too busy thinking, having expectations, you will miss those bits of communication you can only pick up with a clear mind in the moment.
A long time ago, I was on a quest for a vision while meditating with Reiki attunements. I really wanted to receive a message from a spirit guide. I sat and waited, and “watched” with eyes closed, trying to make something out of the shapes that floated behind my eyes. I sat for what seemed like hours, “trying” to have a vision. It wasn’t until I surrendered, what felt like giving up at the time, letting go o the expectation, that I finally saw something and it was so quick, so fleeting, yet so detailed and meaningful I became so excited when it happened, it was gone as soon as I realized it was there. The split second vision I had has stayed with me since then, the lesson has followed and reminds me in many situations about the power of surrendering and the gifts that accomplishing the surrender can bring.